Supporting LGBTQIA+ Clients in Counseling

If the rainbow flags and logos didn’t give you a clue, June is pride month. The Stonewall Riots occurred in June and led to many (shockingly recent) changes in law to provide rights to the LGBTQIA+ community.  But the recent rollback of rights and protections for the transgender community has proven we’ve got a long way to go still—which is why it’s so important to make your support of the LGBTQIA+ community visible as a counselor.

Yes, I’m speaking to my fellow counselors today. That doesn’t mean that this article isn’t for non-counselors either. I’ll be sharing what I think an affirming and supportive therapist can do to show LGBTQIA+ support which may help you find someone with these qualities to work with.

Mental health agencies and allies seem to keep silent on issues that are areas of great debate—despite the fact human rights should never be a debate. Support of the LGBTQIA+ community is something that I see lacking greatly in mental health. Individual counselors and social workers are out here showing support but it’s difficult to see if the agencies we work under don’t send out that message.

 

Whether an individual clinician or a whole agency, here are some thoughts on showing your support and acceptance, and why it’s important:

 

Representation Matters

Before I got my first job as a counselor, I’d already had my Safe Spaces training (focused on being an LGBTQIA+ ally) completed and had my rainbow sticker ready to go. When I got into my office, I made sure to buy something I could put it on for display. It’s only a few inches tall and wide, but when you’re looking for signs of safety and acceptance, it’s huge.

I say this as both an ally and a pansexual member of the community. For myself, I always judge an establishment on its bathroom signs. If there are individual occupant bathrooms, there’s nothing holding a company back from using a non-gendered sign (rather than two separate gendered signs) that costs as little as six dollars. It’s a small gesture, but it means a lot when people are being harassed about which bathroom they are allowed to use.

These signs are subtle. Nonetheless, in mental health, I believe they are crucial. An LGBTQIA+ person runs the risk of being hurt (maybe for the hundredth or thousandth time) by someone they were supposed to be able to trust if that person isn’t affirming. It can result in holding back about gender identity, sexual or affectional orientation, or questioning thoughts.

Providing representation is a simple way of saying, “I’m safe, so you’re safe.”

 

Be Affirming

While the acceptance and support of the LGBTQIA+ community is large and widespread—I like to believe there are many more of us than there are of the people who choose hate—some people still have barriers around them. Unaffirming family members, religious institutions, friends, workplaces, schools, extracurricular groups, and more are present in the lives of LGBTQIA+ people everywhere.

Not all of us are lucky enough to have a strong support system of affirming loved ones. Not all of us are lucky enough to have had people not only accept us but also believe there’s nothing wrong with us. Not all of us can find basic human kindness and decency in our daily lives.

A counselor has the opportunity to provide true affirmation, acceptance, and support to those who have not seen it before or who have seen it come with conditions (“I love you but I don’t love what you do”). A counselor can also help to break down the conditions, most commonly, by religious teachings. Being an active, knowledgeable ally makes this possible.

 

Be Educated

As a counselor, you might be the person a client chooses to come out to so you want to be ready not to do harm. Whenever you’re an ally, it’s not enough to say, “I’m accepting.” (Although that can be a good start!) You need to educate yourself regularly so that you don’t cause harm inadvertently due to lack of knowledge.

There’s a lot of outdated language out there that people still use and shouldn’t such as the word “homosexual.” That word was used in mental health treatment at one time as a classified disorder across multiple diagnostic platforms. Of course, being gay or lesbian is not a mental illness, so classifying it as such was stigmatizing. Over time, the word has become obsolete because of the stigma that mental health put on it as recently as the 1990’s.

 

Remove Bias

If you hold biases against the LGBTQIA+, you know that it’s harmful, you know that it’s unethical, and, thus, you shouldn’t be a counselor. Period. Sorry, not sorry. Get rid of this bias (as much as you should be getting rid of racism, ableism, sexism…and so on) or get out of the field.

The Neutrality of Mental Health Causes Harm

I’m going to say it and it might piss people off: mental health is being neutral on Black Lives Matters and police brutality.

 

I follow a lot of mental health advocates, providers, organizations, schools, and so on, on social media both personally and with this blog. I’ve seen strikingly little in terms of statements in support of Black Lives Matter. This is a problem and I’m calling it out.

Don’t get me wrong, there are some statements, but I expected more. I wanted more. I wanted all of us to be stepping up and taking a stand.

I think I know why there’s relative radio-silence and the reason is not reasonable.

 

Neutrality.

In my education as a counselor, I felt like I was going to emerge into my working role a blank slate. I’d have to hide personal social media, be careful how I dressed and what I said in public, decorate my office in only generic but calming décor, and shut myself off unless home or amongst friends. I felt like that because that’s what I was taught.

In my time in internship, I got to know future professionals like myself who took another path to therapy—social work. Their education actually included taking part in advocacy as a curriculum requirement. That made sense to me—if we show what causes we advocate for we make ourselves safe for the people who’ve historically felt disenfranchised by therapy (some therapist are not good at managing their biases, unfortunately, and can do harm).

I expected, given most of the therapists I’ve seen in my local community got a degree in social work rather than counseling, to see that advocacy at work. Posts on social media similar to the ones being released by big box stores all the way to insurance giants aligning with the Black Lives Matter movement should have been flooding my feeds. But they weren’t.

There were statements from individual therapists—which, yay, is a good thing—but not from many whole organizations or businesses. There were statements of equality, rejection of racism, acceptance of all peoples—this is great, but it isn’t a true stance. It’s what was already supposed to be present in mental health.

Why not stand up and say, “black lives matter?”

What are they afraid of? I don’t know. Maybe looking bias when they’re supposed to be the blank slate of neutrality. Maybe saying the wrong thing or missing the point. Maybe they actually don’t support the movement, which I sincerely hope is wrong.

 

I’m not going to be afraid because I don’t have reason to. I’ve learned over time that a counselor is supposed to make people feel safe to open up. Someone whose been disenfranchised and hurt over and over by racism, sexism, homophobia, xenophobia, and ableism takes a chance on getting hurt every time they open up about these issues, so many may not bring them to therapy in fear of being hurt by their therapist.

How can anyone know if I, a white person, am safe to discuss what is happening out there right now (protests, death, unrest, police brutality, injustice, racism) if I don’t show I’m safe?

Mental health helpers, whatever your role, don’t be a blank slate. The people who need you most need to know you’re safe to come to. Make your stance known and be straightforward: BLACK LIVES MATTER!