Body Positivity and the New Year’s Resolution

You’ve seen it, I’ve seen it, and we all knew it was coming. The crowded parking lot at the gym, pictures of healthy meals across social media platforms, co-workers and friends sharing diet tips, exercise gear and equipment front and center of big-box store, and the overall rush to get in shape before warm weather hits. I know that many people will be pursuing a healthier, leaner, fitter, and/or lighter versions of themselves and I can’t stress enough how much I support that.

I also can’t stress enough how damaging this yearly trend can be for those struggling to feel comfortable in their own skin. Raising my hand, I’ll admit that this time of year can be a challenge for me. Not because I don’t want other people to be fit and healthy—there’s nothing I support more than healthy diet and physical activity to make a positive impact on mental health—but because I keep being reminded that my body doesn’t work the way it “should.”

As a therapist and a person who doesn’t feel that the world revolves around me, I know the answer to my problem doesn’t lie with others to refrain from posting about their weight loss or celebrating the success of their new eating habits. The work will be my own to maintain my own body positivity. Whether you’re one of the resolutioners focused on changing your body or like me and feeling stuck, you can take care of your own body image, too.

Send yourself body-positive messages

I’m going to be real; I don’t do this much. When I have on a particularly flattering outfit, I’ll recognize that I look good in the mirror, and here and there I feel proud of the hips I’ve put on. If I were really doing what I should be doing, and what I tout in my therapy work, it could look something like:

Leaving body positive statements on the mirror at night to read in the morning. Use a sticky notepad, glass markers, the standard paper and tape, or lipstick. Write it at night and begin your day with it in the morning. Just having that message to start the day off gets your mind thinking toward the positives of your body.

Saying something positive to the body in the mirror. I do this sometimes but what if I—and you—did it nightly? In PJs, when makeup is off, contraptions to suck in and firm up aren’t on, and the body is allowed to be at rest—just making positive observations? I don’t know, maybe we should try it.

Not seeing a reflection and being confident anyway. We could use some internal self-talk and boost our confidence any time of the day. Remind yourself how capable and amazing your body is every time you walk to the copy machine and see if you end up walking taller. I’ll certainly try it.

Follow body-positive influencers. Social media is full of people ready to tear others down but I like to think it’s filled more with people ready to lift others up. We’re in an age where body-positivity is growing to new levels and there are leaders out there sending their supportive message through writing and photographing beliefs and lifestyles that embody embracing the body you have, regardless. I’m going to name Lizzo as a major inspiration for me. Even in the face of reoccurring shaming and negativity, she outshines it all to keep spreading hope and supporting her own self-love.

Put the focus on what your body can do.

I don’t talk about it much here, but I have polycystic ovarian syndrome or PCOS. From my experience, it causes problems with proper insulin function leading to holding onto fat, particularly in the middle, and seems to be interfering with muscle growth. This sucks. The most frustrating part is reading articles about weight loss success and knowing you’re doing ALL OF THE THINGS RIGHT and seeing no changes.

It all ends up getting me down on my body and thinking about how poorly it can function sometimes. My solution? Making a daily, concerted, mindful effort to focus on what my body CAN do.

My body can get stronger. Even if it doesn’t necessarily look like it on the outside, the changes I’ve made to my workout routine since March 2019 have paid off. I lift heavier weights, I tolerate strength training better, I’m no longer worn out after aerobic exercise, and I, overall, have more tolerance for multiple types of exercise.

My body can push limits. Last night somehow there were only three of us in a strength training class despite the surge of new people attending my gym. That meant I felt more pressure than usual to push through the whole workout without stopping. While I thought my thighs would explode at one point, I was able to make it through every variation of squats the instructor threw at me. And today? My thighs are barely sore.

My body can persevere. I work a full time, four-day work week as a therapist and tack on an extra eight or more hours one to two days a week for writing/blogging/content creation…etc. I know a lot of people have trouble working more than full time and having the energy for regular physical activity. My body allows me to work all day and get to the gym four days a week with a frequent weekend walk in the local park.

 

Other ways to focus on what your body can do:

Consider your mobility and flexibility
Celebrate good digestion
Revel in your senses
Enjoy having balance and core strength


 

Cut out the comparisons

I started this article on how this time of diets and before and after shots make it harder to stay body-positive. That’s because I’m spending too much time comparing. Sound familiar to you?

Your body and my body are uniquely ours and we can’t compare them. What works for you may never work for me. More importantly, what is the right weight, the right shape, the right muscle tone, or the right amount of fat? With such different shapes, lifestyles, hormone levels, and genetic variations, I simply don’t see how there can be a short list of ideals.

We’re each ideal the way we are and we stay that way whatever changes we do or don’t make to our bodies.

How do you stay body positive? Share in the comments below, or on Twitter or Instagram.

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New Year’s Resolutions with a Mental Health Focus

The new year is well on its way and resolutions will be abound. It’s well known that new year’s resolutions tend to fall off early in the year. I tend to shy away from choosing a new year for new resolutions—or goals—because it creates an external motivator. You’re motivated because it is the new year rather than because it is what you want to do and you’re ready to do it.

That having been said, I recognize the new year is a great time to set new goals. The hustle and bustle of the holidays is over and January tends to have minimal distractions related to holidays, heavy work -loads, school trips, vacations…etc. Those distractions will pick up after January and in order to stick to your resolution, I recommend making the focus of anything you do related to your mental health.

Why? Maybe it’s because I’m passionate about it, but I like to hope that if you focus on your mental health it will be more meaningful and important than other motivations. Let’s take a look at how you can shift your focus:

Lose Weight/Get Fit

One of the most popular new year’s resolutions, the prospect losing weight packs gyms from January to mid-February…and that’s when the resolution fizzles out. Weight loss is a tough goal to reach because the focus is on the numbers on the scale and the sacrifice of time. This is manageable in January likely because there aren’t as many distractions or temptations as most people detox from the holiday socializing and indulgences. Once February rolls around, holidays, social responsibilities, work load, and more is back in full swing and that’s when resolutions get tested.

If your resolution related to your weight and fitness is focused on sacrifice and loss, as mentioned above, how well are you going to weather the challenge of February’s, March’s, April’s…distractions? Instead, I recommend focusing on the benefits of exercise for mental health. For details, check out this article. When looking at it from a mental health perspective, you can focus on gaining more energy, feeling less anxious, spending your time for self-care, and having more social interaction.

With this focus you gain rather than lose and that alone sounds more positive. But you’re also taking away the fear of the scale, the frustration if you don’t see the numbers drop, and the lament of time not spent elsewhere. If you’re looking to lose weight and get fit in 2020, make your goals about how the process benefits your mental health to keep you motivated.

Save Money

While we may not like it, money is important to daily living as it affords us what we need and what we want—which can often times support self-care. That’s likely why people tend to resolve to save money in the new year. Saving money is an exercise in patience, organization, and prioritizing. So, it’s definitely hard to start and even harder to stick to.

The good news is, patience, organization, and prioritization are great skills to support mental health as well. To bring a mental health focus to saving money, I recommend including practices involving these skills. Challenge yourself to wait and save up over time for an item you might have previously purchased right away and if you make it, reward yourself with a small bonus such as a special coffee or bubble bath. Organize your phone calendar with reminders so that you’re not rushing to get in everything you need to finish before the next month. Choose your priorities based on, not just funds, but time and self-care, too.

Spend Time with Loved Ones

Many of us lead busy lives and it often gets in the way of enjoying the people we love. This seems like a simple fix; open up time for family and friends and plan to use it. What isn’t simple is; a) enjoying the time spent without worrying about all that isn’t getting done; and b) getting others on board.

To start out, if you’re going to commit to making time for friends and family, you have to commit to it being important enough to be in the moment. That may mean practicing mindfulness so you can stay in the moment, writing down all you have to do and when you’ll get it done so your mind can be free when you’re spending time with loved ones, or cutting back on other obligations such as work projects and volunteering. If this is a priority, don’t just make the time for it, make the mental space for it, too.

The trouble with this resolution is that it requires more than just your effort. There’s at least one other person involved in this exchange and if they don’t also put in the time and energy, you can’t make them. Focus on what you can do to reach this resolution and recognize what’s out of your control to reduce the stress of making this happen.

There are many new year’s resolutions such as quitting smoking, drinking less, learning new skills/information, traveling, and the list goes on. Challenge yourself to consider how you can put the focus of these or your own resolutions on mental health. Overall, make whatever resolution you set about what you want and make sure that you have good reasons for it, like your mental health and wellness.

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