Posting Announcement

Hi all! I wanted to take the time to announce that I'm going to be moving my blog posting from weekly to bi-weekly for the rest of 2019. There are a few reasons for this:

1. The holidays are coming up and I suspect they'll not only be busy for me, but also busy for you, the reader. I write my content to help and support others so I don't want the content to seem overwhelming. I want you to have time to enjoy and absorb it.
2. To keep this blog going, it needs to have a greater reach. With my limited time, I've put a great deal of effort into the content--which is super important to me! As a result, though, I haven't been able to give the right amount of attention to social media. To expand this blog's reach, I need to improve my social media outreach so that I can continue to create quality content you want to consume.
3. I want to try on some new strategies for delivering information. I hope that this will bring a new and exciting element to this blog. However, I must give that some extra attention to determine if it will work for me and for you in the best way possible

My hope is that by taking a step back, I'll be better able to grow this blog and develop content you want to see. What I don't want is to provide so-so content just to make a weekly post happen. You can continue to expect to see my postings on Fridays. Looking forward to the New Year and a new beginning. Thank you for your support and patience!

How to Build a Self-Care Box

When mental health declines, we’re in an emotional slump, or things just keep going wrong, we are not always focusing on self-care. Thinking ahead and being proactive in wellness is key. That’s why I want to help you get started on your self-care box.

A self-care box is a container—usually a box but could be a basket, tote, or bag—that is filled with items to promote self-care when it’s hard to do. There are vast arrays of items that can be included and whatever you come up with is meant to be uniquely suited to you.

Let’s look at what might go inside a self-care box.

Paper—This paper isn’t blank. The paper in your box should include uplifting notes from yourself and others, inspiring quotes, and reminders of the positive in your life. It’s easy to focus on the negative when life gets hard and these reminders can be just the thing to bring awareness to the good in life and you. Be sure to utilize your positive days when you can appreciate yourself and/or the world, and write it in a note for future you to find comfort in.

Something soft—Soft is soothing. Include a soft, soothing object that fits you. Need something to squeeze? Go with a stuffed animal or pillow. Want to wrap up in warmth? Include a blanket or special set of PJs. Fuzzy slippers may be just right for you.

Smell good stuff—Candles or incense (if you’re safe around fire), essential oils, bath bombs, soaps, scented waxes for warmers, lotion…items that provide a soothing-scented atmosphere and engage you in self-care. Whether these items prompt you to relax, meditate, or take a bath, connect the smells to wellness.

Audio items—If you still have CDs, include one or more of them in your box that you know will reduce your stress and improve your mood. If not, make a list self-care playlist and write a reminder to listen to it. Not into music? Try nature sounds.

Spiritual supports—If you are spiritual in any way, you likely find peace in a spiritual word or practice. Include the written word of your religion, healing crystals, meditation guides, a smudge stick, religious symbols or artifacts (like a rosary, for example), or cleansing spells.

Snacks—Non-perishable, long lasting items like tea, dry soup mix, and chocolate are some option. The intent is not to increase stress eating but, rather, provide yourself with a treat that lifts your mood and calms you down.

Interest items—Think - something you enjoy that inspires you, incites positive feelings, or just makes you smile. Maybe you’ll stash a comic from your favorite series, add some decorations from your favorite season or holiday, include glitter and other pretty things…the list goes on.

Sensory items—Grab a stress ball, make slime, fiddle with a fidget cube—if you put them in your box, you can do any of these and more. Sensory items don’t just appeal to touch as the aforementioned do, they can be visual or auditory, too. The snacks should take care of taste!

Safety network—Include a list of people and numbers you can call or go see for support. This can include friends, family, local crisis hotlines, national crisis hotlines, a therapist, and local ER. You may even want to put them in order of who you’ll want to start with first.

Now go find your box! How big or small it needs to be depends on what you intend to put in it and how much. Keep it simple or decorate it. Make it large and full or make it small and reserved. However you decide to make it, it should be suited to work for you.

What’s one self-care item that’s a must have in your self-care box? Share in the comments below, interact with me on Instagram, or re-tweet on Twitter with your answer!

Share to Facebook

Share to Twitter

How Therapy Works

A guide for getting more out of the therapeutic process.

I’m no stranger to what therapy looks like in the media: a therapist running off with their client and abandoning their work (this is illegal in many places and unethical), laying on a couch as a therapist mhmm’s indiscriminately, or an in-your-face confrontation of what the reality is and how you need to deal with it. Not only is none of this typical of therapy, it also sets people up to be confused about how it really works. Truth is therapy is a challenging, boring, thoughtful, and exceptionally rewarding process that looks nothing like what the media is selling.

I’m going to tell you what you can (typically) expect from therapy and how to utilize it.

It’s a slow start.

While some therapies, like Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, are known to be briefer in nature, the beginning will still be a slow crawl. The first session—or couple of sessions—will likely be an intake session. Meaning there will be a lot of questions and information gathering. It’s unlikely you’ll get into resolving any issues right away. In fact, the therapist completing your intake may not even be your primary therapist.

This is followed by a period of rapport-building where you’ll typically be talking in more detail about what you need. However, you will only begin to build trust so it may be difficult for you to delve deep. Since the therapist will adjusting to you, they will follow your lead and meet you where you are.

The way to move it forward—Come to the intake session with as much information as you can about your symptoms and current situation. If it helps, write down what you think it is important for the therapist to know so you don’t forget. You want to provide the concise, vital information and be ready to answer anything else the therapist needs to know.

Give your therapist a few sessions to get going. It takes time to build any relationship and therapy is based on a relationship between client and therapist. If you don’t think it’s working, let them know. They may be able to change how they approach you to build a better relationship. If not, they should be open to providing appropriate referrals.

If you’re looking for advice, you’re in the wrong place.

I’m not going to pretend that no therapist out there gives advice. They probably do. Most I know don’t, myself included. (Advice is different from clinical recommendations which can include referrals to medication prescribers, higher levels of care, and other supplementary mental health programs or groups.)

A therapist can’t make a decision for you. They can help you find options, provide different perspectives, and even teach you new concepts. However, the choice should be up to you so advice defeats the purpose of honoring your autonomy.

Instead of asking for advice—Ask your therapist if they’ve thought of any other options. Be willing to brainstorm with them and take feedback. Leave room in your session for them to provide reflections back to you. Sometimes hearing your words and experiences said by another person can help you find insight and direction.

Therapy is hard.

Speaking as a therapist and a consumer of therapy, it’s a difficult process. You may feel better and exhausted after a session at the same time. After all, you’ll probably be exploring concepts you rarely or never do in daily life and it can be emotional. Emotional or not, good therapy tends to challenge you mentally.

It’s hard but it’s doable—A good therapist will try to help you keep sessions balanced so it doesn’t move too far too fast. They will both push you and pull you back. This also depends on how much you push yourself or hold yourself back. Communicate and let your therapist know if a topic has become too much or if you need a session to work on less emotionally threatening topics. Communicate if it is the opposite and you’d like to move into deeper processing.

Your therapist wants to hear from you.

As a training therapist, I thought all clients would sit down and just start talking. It turns out that many come to session not knowing what to talk about. It takes time to build up awareness skills to know what to bring to session. Many people expect the therapist will direct them to what they need to talk about. While a therapist may suspect what is most needed, they aren’t the expert on you, you are!

Come ready to talk—Be aware of emotions, thoughts, and reactions to occurrences happening outside of session. Use a mood tracker. Journal or write down points that arise between sessions. Work with your therapist to develop “homework” for you to work on between sessions and process the next time you meet. Find what helps you come to session prepared to make the most out of your time.

Having the appropriate expectations of therapy and the know-how to use it is a great start to the process. While it’s great to be prepared, also remember to be open to learning. It isn’t always obvious what you need from therapy. How therapy works is similar and different for each individual all at once!

Is this information helpful? Let me know in the comments and/or check boxes below. Follow me on Instagram and Twitter to stay updated on new posts and news about the blog!

Share to Facebook
Share to Twitter

Get Creative With Mental Wellness

Think back to the last time you molded clay, concocted slime, drew a picture, decorated a room…any one of your favorite creative ventures. Which senses did you involve? Was it relaxing or energizing? Did you join others in the experience or focus on your imagination? How did you feel once you’d completed your goal?

This past weekend I baked and decorated a cake, eager to try my hand at some of the techniques I’d seen in step-by-step videos that make everything look so easy. I may not have the skills of a master confectioner, but I did feel satisfaction, focus, and a release of energy from the 4 hour—that’s right, it took FOREVER—baking/decorating marathon. This is what I want to address today: how art benefits your mental health.

As a mental health and co-occurring disorders therapist, I do not specialize in art therapy, but I do appreciate how creativity positively impacts our mental health. What I do know about art therapy is that it’s about expression, engaging all senses, and tapping into places talking often cannot.  It’s a powerful therapy modality that I don’t intend to get into here, but it got me thinking that if art is used in therapy (something I believe in so strongly) it must be good for you outside of therapy!

 Here are the 5 ways doing art can benefit your mental health:

1. Self-Esteem—Plain and simple; it feels so good to complete a project successfully. Whether it’s a paint by numbers or five foot bronze sculpture, you can feel good about the work you did. If you’re just getting started, your skills can improve with practice increasing self-esteem as you see your work getting better. This further amplifies when others appreciate your work.

I received so many compliments for the steampunk pumpkin centerpieces I made for my wedding. All of them left with guests and the wedding party.  I still feel so good about the work I did and how beautiful they came out.

2. Stress reduction—Color a mandala, experiment with water colors, create a floral arrangement, or piece together a scrapbook. Something that has repetition can be particularly soothing. When you’re fully engaged in your art, you’re in the present moment, reducing the ability to reach into the future and examine the “what ifs” that support stress. Pairing art with mindfulness is an opportunity to use both for stress reduction.

3. Social Connection—There are so many ways we can use art to connect with others—reducing isolation. You can go to one time events such as a paint night, join a local club focusing on knitting, take a non-credit course to improve your craft, or engages friends and family in a craft night. All of these bring you in physical contact with others. There are options digitally as well. Groups on social media share ideas and finished works of art to develop conversation and camaraderie around artwork of different kinds.

4. Energy Release—You can definitely work out pent-up physical energy through art as much of it can be tactile. Emotional energy can also be released through self-expression. You have control over the art you create putting power in place of fear so that you can be free to express what words cannot. Before I baked and decorated by cake this weekend, I was buzzing with the anticipation of creating it for a couple of weeks. I worked out the energy once I took on the challenge. I feel it charging up again and I’ll have to get back to my baking pans to do it once more.

5. Redirected Thinking—Art tends to require attention and concentration. You may have to plan out your next move with each new step to a project or keep track of how many times you’ve completed a certain action. By taking your attention and concentration, art can free your mind from negative thoughts that fuel various mental health disorders and cause decline. Additionally, coupled with the increase of self-esteem, you can also utilize your pride in your work as a positive counter to negative self-talk.

I’d like to end on some suggestions for getting started in making art a part of your regular self-care:

• Start a Pintrest board to gather ideas and how to’s
• Get into cosplay by making costumes, armor, and fake weapons
• Join a crafting group at your local library or community center
• Purchase low-cost supplies if you’re uncertain of what you’d enjoy to allow you to try it first
• Start back where you left off on a previous art project or hobby
• Don’t limit your art expression to traditional modalities—paint shoes, sculpt fondant, mold chocolate, create mash ups, think three dimensional, try big and small…whatever it is, make sure you’re doing it for you and the way you want to do it.

Art is beneficial for our mental health as a means of increasing self-esteem, reducing stress, connecting socially, releasing energy, and redirecting thinking. Adding art to your self-care toolbox is a great way of engaging most or all of your senses in your recovery and management of mental illness, or maintaining mental wellness. Get out there and create! Share your creations in the comments on Twitter with me!

Disclaimer—As mentioned above, I do not specialize in art therapy and am not referring to art therapy techniques in this post. As always, this blog and posts therein are not intended as medical or clinical advice. 

Share On Facebook

Share On Twitter