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| Photo provided by Pexels.com, Photographer: Ylanite Koppens |
Sometimes, the things we do for self-care can leave us needing more self-care. I know that’s what’s been happening to me these past few weeks. This weekend marked show time and the end of a local production I’ve been preparing for since October. I loved being part of it, loved acting and singing, loved the experience of making new connections and getting to know new people. But it was also super draining.
I’ve always been the sort who does as much as I possibly can
because I’m interested in so much. And it truly is my self-care to take
classes, learn dances, perform on stage, cosplay, DIY…everything, and do
all the other basic self-care stuff like resting, spending time with loved
ones, and taking long showers. But it still adds up.
I think being in the play was just a tipping point on top of
the cosplay I was working on for this weekend, on top of the holiday hustle and
bustle, on top of working out, on top of…well, you get it. Nevertheless, I find
myself slowly trying to recover this week and I’ve got to deliberately be
gentle with myself. Even though I know that, it’s pretty tough to do. So I
figured I’d write about it to remind myself and maybe provide you with some
helpful tips in the meanwhile.
How to care for yourself after you’re worn out…from self-care.
1. Be Kind to Yourself: If your favorite self-care is as
time-consuming as mine is, you may end up with a few dishes in the sink or a
messy room, you may be a little more forgetful that usual, and you may need an extra nap or two. Be kind and allow yourself not to be superhuman. You can’t
possibly do EVERYTHING…as much as you (or I) may want to.
2. Be Patient with the Aftermath: After you do the thing,
whatever that may be, you figure everything will fall back into place. You’ll
start back at the gym and the house will be clean and your social life will
reset…that’s a nice fantasy, but it’s unlikely it’ll all just bounce back. If
you’re like me, you’ll still be playing catch-up by trying to chase down time to
devote to getting life back on track. It will get back on track, but it will happen gradually. There was a built-up that took time and it'll take time to break it down again.
Plus, if you’re really like me, you’ve got a bunch of these
time-intensive self-care hobbies going at once, so when one ends it just means
you can give more attention to the other one. It’s cool, the dishes won’t go
anywhere. Prioritize time where you think it’s most needed.
3. Spread It Out: I’m certainly guilty of not doing this and
sometimes that’s not something I can help. The latter part of the year brings
on a lot of opportunities for the activities I enjoy like acting, cosplay,
quarter auctions, and concerts. However, I recommend to you and to myself to
try to spread out these taxing self-care hobbies by not jumping right into the
next one that comes along. You can wait for the next one after that to give you
some recovery time.
4. Be Comfortable with Saying “No:" No to yourself, no to
others, no to the event, no, no, no. Practice it. Let it roll off your tongue. Explanations
not needed. If you have to turn it down for your own rest and sanity, turn it
down. For example, do I want to try out for the next play in January? Absolutely!
Am I going to? Well, right now I say “no.” Time will tell if I stick to it…and
time heals wounds rather well.
5. Don’t Forget That It Takes a Toll: With time healing
everything so quickly, it’s easy to forget the toll it all took in the first
place. Do your best to burn it into your memory, not to scare you away, but to
allow you to make a good choice about taking it on again. I always go into a show knowing I’ll be exhausted at the end
and it makes being kind to myself easier throughout the process.
6. Do Self-Care That Will Balance You Out: The time constraints
make it tough but you can do it! Fit in those self-care activities that won’t
add to the toll so your intensive self-care can still fill you with
satisfaction and pride. Take a bubble bath, listen to your favorite music, pet
the cat, get the right amount of sleep, eat all your meals, tap into your self-care toolbox, practice deep breathing
and mindfulness… the list goes on.
As I’m writing this, it sounds weird to consider that some
self-care is stressful and taxing at the same time it is revitalizing. I
suppose life is a give and take, a careful balancing of scales, and governed by
the yin-yang philosophy. Awareness and deliberate action or inaction is the key
to this equilibrium. Care for yourself even when you're doing self-care.
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